Updated: Sep 2, 2020
Your world shut down. No more work. No more friends. No more soccer games. No more school. No more family visits. No more outings. No more dates. No more interactions. Full quarantine. Inside, all of you, all of the time.
In early March, 2020, the nation shut down. We shut down. Our lives shut down. Corona virus was growing rampant, and in the effort to save lives we were all asked to stay home, stay inside, and stay away. We lost jobs. We lost companionship. We lost our ability to separate and come together at will.
We were bombarded with people who were calling us to action, to be responsible citizens and stay home, but also to use this time to change our lives. “We’ve been given the gift of time, so what will you use it for?” The guilt begins to build, as we barely find the energy to get out of bed, throw some cereal out, and brush our teeth. People are learning another language? Really? People are doing science projects, getting ready for their zoom work calls like nothing has changed, and pinning new recipes to make each night. How is this possible?
We are exhausted. Our minds are racing about the outcome of the virus. Our minds are racing about schools being closed. Our minds are racing about homeschooling. Our minds are racing about supporting our family and working from home. Our minds are racing about how we are going to do it all. Thank you anxiety.
We then shut down. Hello depression.
Depression, like corona virus, is now running rampant. We’ve been locked inside with an unknown future. Everyone around us seems to be thriving, which adds fuel to this overwhelming feeling. They can do it, but I can’t. Something is wrong with me. I can’t do this. I’m exhausted. This isn’t fair. The walls are closing in on me.
Those people you see thriving and smiling and making science projects? Mama, they are struggling too. We are all struggling. We’ve all been struggling. Even before corona virus, we were struggling. We all have something.
Everyone experiences the negativity of life. No one is immune. And to think it’s just you, well, you’re wrong about that. Everyone has bad days, or two, or fifteen in a row. It doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong. It means you’re human.
Just because you think something doesn’t make it true. Question those lies that tell you you can’t do it, that you’re not strong enough to handle this, that everyone else is happy and thriving except you, that you’re the only one yelling and not following through with precision on your homeschool efforts. Mama, I promise you, we’re all there with you. Mothers everywhere, though unseen from you, are rooting you on. They are hugging you, and sending you love, and lifting you up. God knew what He was doing when He sent you here at this time. Exactly what you’re doing, is exactly what you’re supposed to be doing. Good moms sometimes yell, sometimes stay in bed way past their alarm, sometimes eat seven candy bars, and sometimes cry behind bathroom doors.
You’re 1000% capable of handling it, you know how I know? You’ve handled it. You’re here. You‘re still committing each day to be where you are, to surviving it. You‘re up for the experience, because you show up each and every day. You feel that depression, and you choose to stay.
Nothing is wrong with you. You hear me? Nothing has gone wrong. Feel that sadness. It’s supposed to be here right now, of course it is. Allow it to be. When we push it away, it comes back even stronger. Just acknowledge it, feel it in your body, and remember that it can’t hurt you. It’s just a feeling. You’re going to do a little depression today, and that’s just fine.
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